No Facebook? He’s a Keeper.


I never thought I’d say this, but a boyfriend without Facebook is like a breath of fresh air.

As soon as you hit the “in a relationship” button, everyone goes haywire. Everyone wants to know who you’re dating, what his name is, how tall he is, and whether or not he looks like sonic the hedgehog. If he does have Facebook, I’ll guarantee you people will go to extreme lengths to see his entire profile pictures album. I once dated a guy who got a friend request from this girl in my high school’s boyfriend and thought “is this bitch serious right now??”¬†She literally made her boyfriend add my boyfriend at the time to see who he was.

Now, if your boyfriend doesn’t have Facebook… problem solved bitches!! They can’t stalk him, cant see his shit and will remain completely clueless besides the occasional picture you’ll post of the both of you.

Second best thing about not having your man on Facebook, no drama. Friends cant complain about a status he put up, a comment he made, etc. Also, it shows that he likes to keep things private which nowadays, is very important and very rare to find.

Another huge pro is that you know he won’t publicize your fights through semi-depressed statuses. I’ve been through that and trust me its the worst!!! Suddenly the fucker updates his status to “nevermind I’ll find someone like you…” and you’re there asking yourself…”ummm is that shit about me not texting him while I was out?” It sucks balls, because after that, everyone else gets involved and before you know it 100 strangers on Facebook know you were in a fight “10 minutes ago near Montreal.”

Lastly, he’s a keeper if he doesn’t have Facebook because you won’t ever have to worry about him talking to other bitches on it. You’ll never get the urge to go inspector gadget on his ass and look through his private messages. Also, you’ll never have to scroll down through years of past posts to find out details about his ex-girlfriend and past wall posts the bitch posted like “I love you soo much pookie <3<3<3<3<3<3 xoxoxoxoxoxoxox” In other words, you won’t have to vomit nor waste your time clicking “show more posts” for 3 hours of your life. (we’ve all done it, admit it).

That concludes tonight’s rants, ladies and gents. So ladies, if your man refuses to get Facebook, or deleted it…keep him close. If he refuses to be on any kind of social media…MARRY HIS ASS!!

Until next time,

xoxo, S.