No Facebook? He’s a Keeper.


I never thought I’d say this, but a boyfriend without Facebook is like a breath of fresh air.

As soon as you hit the “in a relationship” button, everyone goes haywire. Everyone wants to know who you’re dating, what his name is, how tall he is, and whether or not he looks like sonic the hedgehog. If he does have Facebook, I’ll guarantee you people will go to extreme lengths to see his entire profile pictures album. I once dated a guy who got a friend request from this girl in my high school’s boyfriend and thought “is this bitch serious right now??” She literally made her boyfriend add my boyfriend at the time to see who he was.

Now, if your boyfriend doesn’t have Facebook… problem solved bitches!! They can’t stalk him, cant see his shit and will remain completely clueless besides the occasional picture you’ll post of the both of you.

Second best thing about not having your man on Facebook, no drama. Friends cant complain about a status he put up, a comment he made, etc. Also, it shows that he likes to keep things private which nowadays, is very important and very rare to find.

Another huge pro is that you know he won’t publicize your fights through semi-depressed statuses. I’ve been through that and trust me its the worst!!! Suddenly the fucker updates his status to “nevermind I’ll find someone like you…” and you’re there asking yourself…”ummm is that shit about me not texting him while I was out?” It sucks balls, because after that, everyone else gets involved and before you know it 100 strangers on Facebook know you were in a fight “10 minutes ago near Montreal.”

Lastly, he’s a keeper if he doesn’t have Facebook because you won’t ever have to worry about him talking to other bitches on it. You’ll never get the urge to go inspector gadget on his ass and look through his private messages. Also, you’ll never have to scroll down through years of past posts to find out details about his ex-girlfriend and past wall posts the bitch posted like “I love you soo much pookie <3<3<3<3<3<3 xoxoxoxoxoxoxox” In other words, you won’t have to vomit nor waste your time clicking “show more posts” for 3 hours of your life. (we’ve all done it, admit it).

That concludes tonight’s rants, ladies and gents. So ladies, if your man refuses to get Facebook, or deleted it…keep him close. If he refuses to be on any kind of social media…MARRY HIS ASS!!

Until next time,

xoxo, S.

The Facebook Breakup.

facebook-break-up-300x231So you’ve been dating for 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, 4 years…and then it happens…you breakup. All of a sudden you’re stuck with loads of tagged pictures of the two of you and a pending changing relationship status. Above all, you wan’t to keep the breakup as low key as possible and not alert all of Facebook about your failed relationship.

Funny how some people post literally everything about  their relationship including screen munchers of conversations they have, pictures of every anniversary date, statuses about how in love they are and then once they break up, they hope no one notices the change in updates and a newly hidden relationship status.

Truth is, its perfectly okay to post how in love you are or the amazing anniversary gift your boyfriend bought for your one year anniversary; just make sure you’re smart about it. Firstly, and above all else, make sure your partner is okay with it. If your a private person like I am, posting statuses when your in an argument or posting every single thing that goes on in the relationship is taking it way too far. I’ve been in a relationship that was very Facebook oriented and it caused nothing but disaster. Make sure you’re clear with your partner about what you feel comfortable sharing and not sharing with the rest of Facebook. Also, if you’re the Facebook addict, make sure you respect your partners privacy.

Secondly, the good part about Facebook is the little privacy settings button at the top right corner of your homepage. There’s bound to be some family member or co-worker or nosy friend that you have no choice but to keep on your friends list but who you don’t want seeing anything you post, which is perfectly understandable. Make sure you put these people on limited profile to prevent any unnecessary gossip/nosy-ness if you’re the type to post about what you’re doing every 10 minutes.

Lastly, remember that the less people know about your relationship the better. People will talk no matter what. Therefore, if you give them nothing to talk about then they’ll get bored and move on to someone else who  feeds their gossipy mouths. Remember that a relationship is between the two of you and nobody else should know your private business. It takes away at the relationship more than you know.

Best thing to do is take all the pictures you want in the world and…make a scrapbook! Want to profess your love for your better half? Write them a 3 paged letter! Got into a massive scrap with your boyfriend or girlfriend? Use you’re closest friends to rant to, not your Facebook timeline.

With that being said, if your relationship  does fail for whatever reason and you’re stuck with a bunch of tagged pictures, timeline posts, picture comments etc., well truth is there’s nothing much you can do about it except start hitting that delete button. Facebook, in today’s world, is a huge part in moving on from a breakup and sometimes can even get in the way of finding closure. We’ve all been guilty of Facebook stalking our exes and being curious on who their dating even when there are no feelings left. Even if the relationship ended on a good note, blocking may be the best option to move on from a breakup.

All in all, always remember that unfortunately in life, shit happens. The less drama you have in life, the better. My own grandfather always said “Fatti i cazzi tuoi, ca campi cent’anni,” which translates to “Mind your own business; you’ll live to be a hundred” in English ;).

xoxo, S.