Hall Parties

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We’ve all been to them at some point in our lives. Whether its for a wedding, anniversary, fundraiser, Christmas party…our bank accounts all had to suffer a little.

As an avid hall party go-er myself, I seem to have noticed a common trend between all of them, no matter what occasion. So here’s my list of commonalities.

#1. Waiters

Is it just me or do all the waiters at hall parties look like they’re going to light the place on fire; especially towards the end of the night. They all have that “get the fuck outta here” look on their faces while they try and clear every crumb on the tables so they finish work faster.

#2. Dancers

Hall parties are all about getting your groove on. Seems to me like there’s the same type of dancers on the floor with every hall party I attend.

1. The Horny Couple: usually involves two people who look like they’re about to rip each others clothes off in front of the rest of us. They are usually seen pecking, grinding, at the bar, touching, touching, and more touching.

2. The Show-Off: usually involves dancers who are alwayssss on the dance floor who know every move to every song of every country and every nationality. Opa!

3. Munchkins: usually involves a little boy and girl who just wont sit down for a minute. You have to watch out not to step on them while you dance because they’re either sliding across the floor, running around getting tangled in everyone else’s shoes.

4. Girl Posy: involves a bunch of girls who decide, as a group, when to start and stop dancing. They sing along to every song and yell “OMG I LOVE THIS SONG!!!” at the start of every new track.

5. The Awkard Dancers: the name is pretty self-describing. These are the people who do the same side-to-side dance technique who awkwardly look around the room while they “dance.”

#3. Songs

Is it just me, or does every hall party, no matter what the occasion or DJ company, play the same songs? Pitbull, hey fat boy, another night another dream, dont you worry child, and that one slow song for all the couples dying to slow dance.

#4. Food

Every hall party consists of the same routine. Starting buffet, pasta, salad, meat, dessert, sweet table. Why not shake it up and do the reverse? Haha. Also, is it just me or does some of the food, at some point, not sit well with your stomach and you end up drinking water and lemon towards the end of the night.

#5. Bar Overload

If you paid over 100 bucks for the party, chances are you’ll be looking forward to that open bar. Yeah right, good luck getting one drink! Its always the same routine: the same crowds who hog the bar all night and getting one drink takes you half an hour, until you say fuck it and your plan to get wasted goes out the window.

All in all, hall parties are somewhat fun. Even though they all have that same routine of food, staff, dancers, and crowding, it is an excuse to stuff our faces and let loose. Until next occasion, let me know if you see any other trends!!

xoxo, S.

No Facebook? He’s a Keeper.

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I never thought I’d say this, but a boyfriend without Facebook is like a breath of fresh air.

As soon as you hit the “in a relationship” button, everyone goes haywire. Everyone wants to know who you’re dating, what his name is, how tall he is, and whether or not he looks like sonic the hedgehog. If he does have Facebook, I’ll guarantee you people will go to extreme lengths to see his entire profile pictures album. I once dated a guy who got a friend request from this girl in my high school’s boyfriend and thought “is this bitch serious right now??” She literally made her boyfriend add my boyfriend at the time to see who he was.

Now, if your boyfriend doesn’t have Facebook… problem solved bitches!! They can’t stalk him, cant see his shit and will remain completely clueless besides the occasional picture you’ll post of the both of you.

Second best thing about not having your man on Facebook, no drama. Friends cant complain about a status he put up, a comment he made, etc. Also, it shows that he likes to keep things private which nowadays, is very important and very rare to find.

Another huge pro is that you know he won’t publicize your fights through semi-depressed statuses. I’ve been through that and trust me its the worst!!! Suddenly the fucker updates his status to “nevermind I’ll find someone like you…” and you’re there asking yourself…”ummm is that shit about me not texting him while I was out?” It sucks balls, because after that, everyone else gets involved and before you know it 100 strangers on Facebook know you were in a fight “10 minutes ago near Montreal.”

Lastly, he’s a keeper if he doesn’t have Facebook because you won’t ever have to worry about him talking to other bitches on it. You’ll never get the urge to go inspector gadget on his ass and look through his private messages. Also, you’ll never have to scroll down through years of past posts to find out details about his ex-girlfriend and past wall posts the bitch posted like “I love you soo much pookie <3<3<3<3<3<3 xoxoxoxoxoxoxox” In other words, you won’t have to vomit nor waste your time clicking “show more posts” for 3 hours of your life. (we’ve all done it, admit it).

That concludes tonight’s rants, ladies and gents. So ladies, if your man refuses to get Facebook, or deleted it…keep him close. If he refuses to be on any kind of social media…MARRY HIS ASS!!

Until next time,

xoxo, S.

The Serial Dater

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Hey Bloggers & Readers!

Soooo I havent posted in forever (I know, I suck). J-school has really gotten a hold of me I have no more time for leisure. What does that word even mean?

Anyway, I thought I’d make a quick post about serial daters. I randomly thought about the idea the other day when I saw one serial dater I know had yet ANOTHER girlfriend. I thought to myself, these guys have got to be the most annoying people on earth. Here’s how they play the game…

They’ll date the first single girl they meet thats half decent looking by wooing them with charm and lots and lots of texts. When they eventually start dating, they also start a whole new circle of friends. You see, most serial daters have no friends whatsoever. Thats why they latch onto their victims. To gain friends, a family, and obviously a girlfriend to pass time with.

Serial daters always rush relationships. They’ll tell you their in love with you, make you hear what every girl wants to hear. When shit goes down the drain, their back on their own again like lone wolves.

What do they do after that?

They move on QUICKLY. Usually, theyll contact their exes, change their facebook status right away and open every chat messenger on every site. It like fishing for them. When you run out of trout, you go look for more trout.

My advice?

Check their history. If they’ve had a list of people they’ve date…FLUSH. Also, check their circle of friends. If there’s no sign…FLUSH. Dont fall in their trap, or rather their fishing rod.

& to all serial daters out there (you know who you are), as the italian expression goes: “MAH GHET OUTTA HERE!”

Thats all folks,

xoxo,S.

Dear STM.

The other morning, as I was getting ready to attend my Monday morning class, something told me to leave earlier than what I had anticipated. As I opened my front door expecting to drive to school, (approximately  40 minutes of travelling) my car was nowhere to be found. What happened was dear old daddy-o forgot I had school that morning and therefore hijacked my car to go to the gym instead of taking his which is a total gas alcoholic.

Basically, I now had to take the bus and metro and shuttle bus to school, and re-mentally prepare myself for what was in store for me. The funny part, was that a day before I had read a letter another lady had written to the STM about her very “special” experiences with public transportation. I thought she was exaggerating until experiencing this particular morning with the STM for myself.

So here’s my letter.

Dear STM,

Forgive me, but my experience already started off on the wrong foot since I unexpectedly had to use your services on a Monday morning; a very early Monday morning might I add. As I started to walk to one of your stops near a park, not only was my ass freezing cold and my face about to fall off because apparently winter was closer than I thought, but your bus also left 3 minutes before schedule. Apparently your bus takes off at 7:19 am instead of 7:22 am. Therefore, I did my morning cardio and had to pull a sprint with my pagmina blowing in my face as I ran to catch your 131. Once in your bus, my pants were halfway down my ass and my hair looked like I got electrocuted by all the light sockets in New York City. This was not the look I was going for on this morning might I add.

My bus ride to the metro was quite a joy. Local school girls pilled on by the dozen at each stop, as I asked myself if I was ever that annoying when I was in high school. The answer was no, not even close. Regardless, I got to the metro five minutes earlier than expected and was ready to get blown away by the wind once again after exiting the bus. One of the things I don’t understand about your 131 bus is why the hell does it stop 100 meters away from the door of the metro? The worst part is that, once everyone is forced off, the bus does a turn and ends up right in front of the metro doors. Is it because the bus is too heavy to make the turn with a boat load of people? Or is it because the driver needs to have private time before getting to my exact destination?

As I was about to enter the metro doors, and to my very luck, the current of the doors nearly and literally almost blew my face right over my head. It was inevitable that this was probably going to be the worst hair day I had ever had. After being pushed and shoved to the side by speed walking people hurrying to catch the next metro, I realized the escalators were still not fixed since the previous week. Therefore, I had to commence running down the stairs, since the people behind me were all on speed, while praying not to fall flat on my face.

Once at the metro, I had to load up my opus card; what a joy! 77 dollars later, I was left with two dollars in my bank account. I thought public transportation was meant to encourage people to go save money on gas and not to take out a loan to pay their monthly bus passes.  Or maybe its just me complaining.

By the time I got to school on this morning, I was mentally, physically, and emotionally drained out. However, the morning wasn’t the worst part of my day.

As I rode the bus back to your guy-concordia metro station, I was finally happy for this day to come to an end. Long behold, the famous “tah nah nah nahhh” sounding bell rang and your leading voice lady said “attention, une incendie causera un arret de service sur la ligne verte entre les stations berri-uqam et honore-beaugrand. Le service devra reprendre at 14h45. D’autre message suivrons.” To my luck, this was the exact direction I was going in and it was barely 2:00…which meant waiting at least 1 hour to go home before even starting to go home.

Because of this “incident,” I was stuck having to take all three different metro lines to get home. My metro ride was another very enjoyable one. Squashed between one man’s bare armpit and another man’s chest behind me, I did not know where to look. So I decided to just close my eyes and pretend that I wasn’t surrounded by 1000 people in one metro cart on my desperate-to-get-home metro ride.

After suffering through changing metro lines, and surviving the stampede’s of thousands of people, I finally embarked on the final bus to my home. I believe one of your employees was also having a bad day that day since all I heard coming out of his mouth were “tabarnack, estie, and caulisse,” all while I was reading the “our employees also deserve respect” sign just a few feet away from the driver.

After surviving the wrath of my bus driver, I finally was one street away from my home on foot. The only thing missing on this day was to get shat on by a bird as I walked at 2 miles an hour for how physically and mentally exhausted I was from just transporting myself to and from school with your service. The first thing I did when I got home was take the most appreciated shower of my entire lifetime. I literally smelled worst than a hobo on Sherbrooke street’s armpits squeegeeing car windows in scorching heat all day. Might I add, not by choice and merely because of the dozens of peoples body odors I was surrounded by on this beautiful Monday.

On that note, dear STM, I encourage you to maybe re-organize yourselves in order to encourage and not scare off the public. Or at least reducing your transportation fees and maybe giving other users a lesson on personal hygiene when using public transportation.

Until then, I’ll go give my car a giant hug for always being there for me and smelling like Vanillaroma.

Your Friend,

S. 

The Game of Love.

Gameimage-smallAh yes, we’ve all played it! The game that involves 2 players, both afraid of losing, going in circles to avoid showing all their cards. The question is, when does the game end? Who wins, who loses?

What I mean by all this is that too many people enjoy playing games with one another instead of just being straight up with each other when it comes to dating nowadays. For example, Sally meets Harry and is completely revolted by Harry. Yet, Harry is totally smitten with Sally. What does Sally do since she enjoys the game of love? She’ll keep him around, answer his texts, even flirt with him even though she’s not the least bit interested. Why? One word: attention. You see many people nowadays crave attention constantly. Therefore, when they meet someone who will give it to them they instantly become players of the game. Poor Harry! He may have actually thought for a second that Sally was the one…

Then there’s the back and forth texting game. The one where the guy usually texts first, then waits for the girl to text the next day, then waits to text her at 10pm the day after that, and blablablabla….you get the drift/pattern. First off, texting is the number one creator of the game of love. Just take a look back then in our parents time. No cell phones = no games. Back then, there was no “lets text for 3 months and see what happens.” It was more like, “I’m interested, let me take you out.” Nowadays, we shit our pants just to talk to the videotron cable guy on the phone. Texting/internet has made face to face contact harder on people to actually get out there and socialize with one another.

Basically, how to avoid getting caught up in the game is by doing the following. If you’re interested, just say it for God’s sake!! If you’re not, then also say it no matter how much it will hurt the other person. Being honest will pay off in the long run. The older you get, the more you should avoid playing the game and usually the easier you can pick up on the players trying to get you to join the circle. If a guy is interested and mature he will call, he will ask you on another date, & he will be straight up with you. These are the types of guys that are worth your time.  For guys, if a girl is interested she will give you the time of day…if not, then on to the next!

Life really is too short to play the game. So guys, grow some balls, ask out the girl you’ve been texting for so long by CALLING (try not to shit your pants too much while dialing the first 3 digits) and say it like it is. As for the ladies, don’t waste your time on ding dongs who would rather text than call, rather argue over BBM instead of talking things out face to face, and who are playing the game to look cool in front of their other donkey friends.

May the best player lose!

xoxo, S.

Italian Weddings

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All weddings are beautiful in their own way. The union of two people completely smitten with each other and in love makes for a day full of laughter, fun, and tears of joy.

However, if you’re of italian decent, weddings might be a tottally different story for you like they are for me!  Heres the thing:

First off not sure about the rest of you fellow italians but as soon as the invitation to the wedding comes in the mail all gossip breaks loose. You have the grandparents calling the neighbors, the neighbors calling your grandparents and everyone starts talking. Typical lines include: “Hai visto cuma?! Se sposano a buffet Crystal. Yeah, la se mangia buona!”

Then they start talking about the actual couple themselves, saying things like “yeah e nu bello giovano lui, halto, halto…lavore per l’hospedale, cha na buona joba. Hanno catato na grande casa a Laval.” All I think to myself when these convos come up is who the hell gives a shit what the guy does or how he looks or how big of a house they bought or that he’s six feet tall.

Then there’s the part when the rumors start about which flowers they chose, which dress the bride bought, what the mother of the bride is wearing, and what food their serving at the house/the decor outside. By this point, I just want the day to come so that all this talk and gossip finally ends.

Then comes the part where all the italians go crazy to find something to wear. Where your grandmother calls you to bring her to les Galeries d’Anjou so she can buy something at Laura or Melanie Lynn. After shopping, comes your grandmother asking you to do her dye and pluck her eyebrows even though theres barely anything to pluck.

Then the day finally arrives. Where everyones outside show casing that they have a wedding, all dressed up in their finest suits/dresses and ready to go. When usually the whole street stands outside (if you live in st-leo) while the uninvited guests peek through their windows to see how your dressed.

At the actual reception hall, basically everyone sits there analyzing, critcizing, and observing what goes on as the hall starts to fill up.  The talk about who got fatter, whose wearing a terrible dress, who didn’t say hi, who has a boyfriend that looks like puff daddy, etc., all starts to flow. Then comes the criticism about the food and how it took forever to start eating.

By the end of the night all the hype finally comes to an end…until the next day. Starting from the day after, for about a week or so, the gossip continues. This consists of everyone calling everyone with the “report” as I like to call it.

The last step to all this is …PEACE, until the next wedding that is. Gotta love italians!

xoxo,S.

Top 10 Cheap-ish Date Ideas

The fun part about dating is, well, the fun!  However, sometimes couples hit a slump coming up with ideas on what they should do on a boring Monday or Tuesday night. Basically, you dont want to end up sitting at home like an old married couple fighting over which channel you both want to watch. (You mean watching Jerseylicious isnt at the top of your guys list?! Shocker!).  

So here are some ideas of fun things to do with your other half without putting a whole in your wallet.

1. Road Trip to Red Lobster

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Driving down to Ottawa to enjoy Red Lobster’s lobster feast special is definitely a must! Not only do you get a good meal out of this idea, but you also get to enjoy the excitement of a mini road trip with your significant other(a break from the typical dinner at Madisons). Only 2 hours to go and come back, so grab your shades, pop open the sun roof and turn up some Swedish House Mafia for the road!

2. Impact Tickets

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Wherever you live, (in this case Montreal), hitting up a soccer game on a hot summer night is a super fun idea. Whether you follow soccer or not, just the atmosphere in general of the Saputo stadium and Nesta’s prescense is enough to get you into cheering for Montreal as well. The good part about soccer games is that they’re not as expensive as hockey tickets or some other high priced sport. Visit the impact’s official site to order your tickets online!

3.  Educational Excursion

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Visiting places like Montreal’s biodome, insectarium, planetarium, or boutanical gardens are not only fun ideas to stray away from the typical date, but are also educational. So why not expand your knowledge on Montreal’s nature/the solar system while holding hands with your other half? You’ll walk out of there with a ton of cool pictures and a stuffed animal of your favorite animal! (warning: if you’re not into the planets and how the solar system functions, DO NOT go to the planetarium, you’ll be extremely bored).

4. Good Old Fashioned Picnic

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All you need for this date is a blanket and a basket with mini sandwiches and some wine sparklers. Its cheap, fun, and a relaxing date idea that requires no driving, no planning, and no stress! All you need to do is choose a beautiful park area which shouldn’t be that hard considering there are plenty of beautiful sceneries in Montreal including the lake on Gouin street or in the West Island.

5.  Drive-in Movie (yes we do have one!)

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I recently found out that Montreal does in fact have a drive in movie theatre and its somewhere in the Laval area. Not only is this a classic date idea but its also a cheaper version of going to the movies at cinema guzzo and paying 15 dollars a ticket to watch a movie you may or may not even pay attention to. Plus, your’re in the comfort of your own car and dont have to share a room with annoying 16 year olds talking the whole way through!

6.  Cook-a-thon

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Grocery shopping for your favorite ingredients and then whopping up something tasty with your other half is the perfect way to spend a quiet Sunday evening. Why not make a nice spinach dip with some tortilla chips and watch your favorite TV show? Indulge!

7. Double it Up

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Not sure what to do on a Saturday night? In the mood to go out? Why not call up a close friend and their significant other and double date! Double dating can be super fun (considering you’re in good company of course), so why not head for a drink together or better yet go bowling or mini putting and do couple versus couple. Winners get a free coffee!

8. Airplane Watching

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Located near the airport in between Avenue Jenkins and Halpern, is a brand new spot to watch the planes take off and land right before your eyes! This area is perfect on a mild night to just sit on the benches (or stay in your car as well) and watch all kinds of different sized planes pass by only a few feet away. The area is beautiful in the day and even at night right before the sun sets!

9. Netflix

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Why not make it a netflix kind of night! Whether its a documentary, a horror movie, or a new season of family guy, anything goes. All you need is a couch, a TV and maybe some popcorn?

10. Repeat Date #1

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Ah yes, a little nostalgia goes a long way! Chances are your first date wasnt over the top and super pricey. It probably consisted of a movie or supper and some Tim Hortons. So not only are you saving on cash, but you’d also be re-living those first butterflies you both got on your very first date!

Happy Dating!

xoxo, S.

How to Survive the Dramatic Breakup.

stock-vector-cartoon-girl-and-a-boy-boxing-breakup-concept-vector-illustration-84048103We all go through it, make-ups, breakups, and all the in between. The most important part, however, is how to deal when what we once thought was love…turns out to be a complete nightmare.

Breakups come in all different levels of aftermath drama and time spans of actually getting over them. Usually when a breakup is mutual, both parties walk away with a drama free aftermath and a new willingness to search for another romantic love interest. Then there’s the one-sided breakup where, unfortunately, one individual gets hurt the most and is left having trouble closing that chapter in their lives. The DRAMATIC breakup, however, is a whole other story.

Going through a dramatic breakup is probably the worst breakup you’ll ever have to go through. Basically, a dramatic breakup is when one person walks away from the relationship for a very valid reason, (anything including cheating, broken promises, differences, etc..) and is when the other person being broken up with goes completely ape shit on them by suddenly blaming the failed relationship on the person walking away. It also involves that person very publicly talking shit about their ex lover and basically just shooting out a whole lot of bullshit to try and make themselves look like the innocent party.

First thing I’ve learned is that talking shit about someone who once was a big part of your life and with whom you chose to be associated with is a huge mistake. Talking shit in general, is quite frankly for idiots. Truth is, nobody is perfect, nobody always makes the best decisions, no-one is ever always on their best behavior…and that is exactly why no-one has the right to talk shit about anyone else unless their flawless themselves (which does not exist). As much as all of us are guilty of running our mouths sometimes, we need to look at ourselves first and ask ourselves does talking shit about someone else make you any better of a person than them? The answer is no.

You see, the best way to deal with a dramatic breakup is through silence and forgiving ignorance. If the person walks away bitter about the fact that you broke their heart and chooses to ignore the mistakes they made for the relationship to get to its breaking point, then as long as you’ve explained why you left, let it be. Most of the time the person creating all the drama does so for attention and to make themselves look like the victim; so don’t give in to their game.

As much as its hard to not confront the person while they go off telling lies and defaming your character to others, its important to remain the bigger person. Truth is, as long as you know the truth, nothing else should matter. The people who matter to you will know that you aren’t any of the bad things an ex lover might be saying about you to make you look bad. If you do play the role of the bigger person you’ll be happy you did and you’ll also have an easier time closing that chapter in your life. If you give in to the drama, not only will you regret it later, but you’ll also have a harder time finally getting over the breakup completely.

So remember, the key to surviving a dramatic breakup is self-control, class, and as hard as it might be…keeping your own mouth zipped!

xoxo, S.

The Facebook Breakup.

facebook-break-up-300x231So you’ve been dating for 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, 4 years…and then it happens…you breakup. All of a sudden you’re stuck with loads of tagged pictures of the two of you and a pending changing relationship status. Above all, you wan’t to keep the breakup as low key as possible and not alert all of Facebook about your failed relationship.

Funny how some people post literally everything about  their relationship including screen munchers of conversations they have, pictures of every anniversary date, statuses about how in love they are and then once they break up, they hope no one notices the change in updates and a newly hidden relationship status.

Truth is, its perfectly okay to post how in love you are or the amazing anniversary gift your boyfriend bought for your one year anniversary; just make sure you’re smart about it. Firstly, and above all else, make sure your partner is okay with it. If your a private person like I am, posting statuses when your in an argument or posting every single thing that goes on in the relationship is taking it way too far. I’ve been in a relationship that was very Facebook oriented and it caused nothing but disaster. Make sure you’re clear with your partner about what you feel comfortable sharing and not sharing with the rest of Facebook. Also, if you’re the Facebook addict, make sure you respect your partners privacy.

Secondly, the good part about Facebook is the little privacy settings button at the top right corner of your homepage. There’s bound to be some family member or co-worker or nosy friend that you have no choice but to keep on your friends list but who you don’t want seeing anything you post, which is perfectly understandable. Make sure you put these people on limited profile to prevent any unnecessary gossip/nosy-ness if you’re the type to post about what you’re doing every 10 minutes.

Lastly, remember that the less people know about your relationship the better. People will talk no matter what. Therefore, if you give them nothing to talk about then they’ll get bored and move on to someone else who  feeds their gossipy mouths. Remember that a relationship is between the two of you and nobody else should know your private business. It takes away at the relationship more than you know.

Best thing to do is take all the pictures you want in the world and…make a scrapbook! Want to profess your love for your better half? Write them a 3 paged letter! Got into a massive scrap with your boyfriend or girlfriend? Use you’re closest friends to rant to, not your Facebook timeline.

With that being said, if your relationship  does fail for whatever reason and you’re stuck with a bunch of tagged pictures, timeline posts, picture comments etc., well truth is there’s nothing much you can do about it except start hitting that delete button. Facebook, in today’s world, is a huge part in moving on from a breakup and sometimes can even get in the way of finding closure. We’ve all been guilty of Facebook stalking our exes and being curious on who their dating even when there are no feelings left. Even if the relationship ended on a good note, blocking may be the best option to move on from a breakup.

All in all, always remember that unfortunately in life, shit happens. The less drama you have in life, the better. My own grandfather always said “Fatti i cazzi tuoi, ca campi cent’anni,” which translates to “Mind your own business; you’ll live to be a hundred” in English ;).

xoxo, S. 

 

Lazy Nuke, remember the name!

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“Once known to be a calm species, the fish of the abyss have mysteriously transformed into robotic eating machines.
An aquatic adventure awaits you, young captain. Will you be brave enough to explore the abyss?”

Lazy Nuke, an independent company located in Montreal, are seeking as much support as possible to make their dreams come true! Help them out by purchasing their game 8th wave abyssal rise for only 2$. It is currently on the android market soon to release on iOS! It’s ranked on the second page of best new paid apps. So you know the game is great! Also show your support by rating it 5 stars! Thats the most important thing. The more support they get the more recognition and success they can potentially achieve! They’ve worked night and day, long work hours, and dedicated a lot to this game. Lets help these guys out!

Also, on a side note. They have both Facebook and twitter! Like and follow them! It all helps!

Android market direct link: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.lazynuke.eighthwave&feature=search_result#?t=W251bGwsMSwyLDEsImNvbS5sYXp5bnVrZS5laWdodGh3YXZlIl0. (sorry for the long link).
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LazyNuke
Twitter: @LazyNukeGames
Website: www.lazynuke.com